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Saturday, June 15, 2013

10 FUNNY THINGS THAT STOOD OUT IN THE NEW SUPERMAN / MAN OF STEEL 2013 MOVIE!

Movie Review... Plus Spoilers!! So Be warned!!
After a long morning, I finally saw the hyped movie.... and yeah, it was worth the hype. The new Man of Steel is just that.... "An alien Man internally made of Steel"; he seems to be taken right out of the serious-mood-fantasy-files of Director Zack Snyder, the guy behind 300 and Sucker Punch...  Truthfully speaking, Zack has a dark mind; and that means he prefers rather "darker themes" to the "brighter ones" - it even shows in the color schemes he chooses when shooting all of his movies. Plus it appears that Zack hates happy endings; if you doubt that, then go and see SuckerPunch one more time, with your lil' kids - LOL

Anyway, I'm not too sure about how much input that the Producer Christopher Nolan [the guy behind the Dark Knight Trilogy] had in the presentation of the movie; but this new Superman was far more grittier and hardcore than all the others in the history of the franchise.
I will admit that the sci fi action in the new Man of Steel 2013 movie is extremely intense, from start to finish. Not sure how the hell it got a PG-13 rating... but alas, stranger things have happened! Now here are 10 things [funny & serious] that stood out when I watched the movie:
 
1. Superman [played by Henry Cavil] was portrayed as a happy buff hobo, a guy with no permanent address and no real job, who roams about doing good.

2. Superman was capable of breathing in space, and his cape did not freeze while he soared outside of the Earth's orbit [and neither did he]. In fact, there was a strange wind blowing outside the exospheric band of our planet Earth, which caused his cape to be fluttering, while he soared outside of Zod's spaceship and rocketed towards the escape-pod that Lois had utilized to flee from that vessel. Apparently the writer / director forgot that space is FREEZING COLD.
 

3. Lois Lane is a Redhead! Oh Sweet Baby Jezus, when did Lois Lane become a Redhead? And if  you're going to make Lois a Redhead, then take a cue from Jessica Rabbit and make her SMOKIN' HOT! In fact, Faora-Ul, the female villain / Commander that helped General Zod, was even HOTTER than Lois!
Plus Faora could kick ass, just like Superman!! BTW, Faora was played by actress Antje Traue - and she is pretty much Ursa, reincarnated from the good ol' 1980s Superman II movie!



[You may need to click on the word link below that says "Read More" to the see the rest of the pics in this article!]



4. Jor-El, Superman's Dad, is the new Obi Wan Ken-obi.... I'm serious guys. Jor-El gets killed in the first act of the movie, and yet he keeps re-appearing as a some sort of "tangible intelligent hologram essence" that guides Kal-El whenever he gets into tight spots, specifically when he is aboard Kryptonian spaceships / vessels and the "Super-metal-key" has been inserted and activated.

5. I will confess that Jor-El, [played by Russel Crow] was one of the best performances in the entire movie, per his strong character and perfectly executed lines. Plus, he was the greatest scientist of Krypton.... but yet, he was some sort of martial arts expert who was able to kick everyone's ass, including General Zod's [back in the first act of the movie, which was staged on Krypton]

6. I still don't know how the hell Kryptonians speak fluent English, even though they're an alien race from a distant galaxy.... plus I still don't know how General Zod and his goons all learned PERFECT ENGRISH, overnight :)

7. When General Zod first showed up with his crew, they actually sent a global transmission, in multiple languages, to all the peope of Earth who had TVs or Smartphones... The message that was plastered upon the multiple screens globally was "You are Not Alone...."
And once I saw that, I was expecting to hear a creepy Micheal Jackson voice singing along... "Oh Clark, You are not alone, WE ARE HERE WITH YOU!!!" - LOL

8. When Lois kissed Clark, she was literally kissing every unborn Kryptonian male - since according to the movie, Krypton's Genetic Codex [some old decrepit skull] had been dematerialized and embedded within the cells of Kal-El [Superman], so that through his procreation and the reproductive cycle of a birth, Superman was supposed to reproduce his ENTIRE alien race! Oh crap... one man is to reproduce an entire civilization??? Hide your kids and hide your wife....

9. Superman's Earthly dad, played by Mr. WaterWorld Kevin Costner, actually died... while saving a dog, during a tornado..... and when I saw that, I said to myself... WTF? Is that the best thing Zack Snyder could come up with? Death by sacrifice, on behalf of a dog? Couldn't Mr. Kent just BUY ANOTHER DOG, rather than risk his entire life during a hurricane? Was it really worth it??
Pause and think about it.... That saved dog is not going to raise the kids that you'll leave behind... and he won't be able to help with paying any damn bills, or with the funeral cost!!!

And no, I don't have anything against dogs.

10. Superman had never killed anyone in his entire life of 33 years. And he was quite a boy scout & a real goody-two-shoes kinda guy... in fact, at one point... SUPERMAN WENT TO CHURCH!!! I could not believe me eyes, so I took off my glasses! Yet it was true! Clark goes to talk to a Baptist preacher / Methodist priest of some sort, to get advice!! Lawwd have mercy.... the Man of Steel seems to have needed some prayer, even though he didn't commit a single sin in the whole movie! [apart from a mack-truck that he wrecked outside a diner in Canada]

All right, now that I'm done with that 10-point presentation, I'll share some more thoughts. Personally, Superman was strong... a bit too strong, if you ask me. And with his level of potency, he does NOT need Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, The Martian Manhunter, or anyone else... Why would he need the Justice League when he can zoom around the globe in less than 1 hour?

There were two more things that stood out in the movie; well they were both destroyed, but they caught my attention: A 16-wheeler gas tanker that had the LexCorp logo, and a satellite floating in orbit that had the Wayne Corp logo - and that could hint at the fact that both Lex Luthor and Batman are slated to make future appearances in the Man of Steel Sequel. Or maybe even a crossover movie could be made, featuring "The World's Finest - Batman and Superman" - and they've actually teamed up in the WB cartoon movies years ago.
Oh yes, there will probably be a sequel; it's just that anything they do will have to be predicated upon Superman getting weaker, or his enemies getting a whole lot stronger, since there really is no mortal foe that can go toe-to-toe with him, at this point. But perhaps another alien, or a robot from his world like Brainiac, could step up..... 

BTW, check out the classic blog article featuring 5 Things that Batman can do, which Superman can't!! --> HERE!

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